Tuesday, August 28, 2012

How to Be Indifferent

When asked a question or pressed for an opinion, you can choose to be indifferent on the matter by using simple gestures or by employing nondescript terminology. Being indifferent can work to your advantage in the long run or be useful to deter people you're not interested in knowing. Read on to learn how to be indifferent. 


1. Shrug your shoulders when someone asks you a question while giving a blase look in his direction. If pressed further, reply with statements that show you're indifferent to the topic, like, "No opinion," or "Haven't given it much thought."

2. Redirect questions to ask the other person her opinions and get the spotlight off yourself. Later on, people are likely to not even notice that you didn't answer the question. Be the moderator if sides exist by encouraging others to talk and asking proponents of both sides to share further.

3. Play both sides of the coin. Be the devil's advocate at one moment, then go with popular opinion the next. This will leave people to guess which side you're actually on. If they ask in a private moment, be sure to not tell them.

4. Leave the room, get a glass of water, start up another conversation to prove that you really aren't interested and are actually so bored you need to do something else.
  • Tips & Warnings

    • Never directly state your opinion or show your emotions, if you do feel strongly on an issue. Bite your tongue and fight the need to be heard. Do so by convincing yourself that in this particular crowd, at this particular moment, it's better for you to remain neutral.



    Sunday, August 12, 2012

    Tips For The Reluctant, Indifferent and Negative Traveler

    My father was very hesitant about traveling to Mexico before we went there this past May. I’m always excited to travel, so my father’s negative reaction on going to Mexico puzzled me. But I know not everyone loves to travel. Some people may like to travel, but like my father, they may find themselves going to a destination they have no interest in. Other people might hate traveling altogether, but perhaps they have to travel every now and then (like for business).

    I decided to put myself in the shoes of the reluctant, indifferent and negative traveler. What would I do if I had to travel, but I didn’t want to travel? What would I do if I had to travel some place, but I didn’t want to go there? These are tips I came up with to help those who are reluctant, indifferent and negative toward traveling.
      1. Research the destination.
      Before going to Mexico my father had a pretty negative image about the country. Negative thoughts often stem from fear of the unknown. The only things my father knew about Mexico came from the evening news. And let’s face it, the news usually only reports about another country if something bad has happened (death and/or destruction). This isn’t to say you shouldn’t pay attention to the news, but take it with a grain of salt. Since I had done some research, and knew the area of Mexico we were going to would be safe for tourists, I felt much more comfortable with going there. Remember, knowledge is power.

      2. Vary your research sources.
      This is related to the first point, but make sure don’t just stick to one source of information when researching a destination. This will only give you a skewed view of a destination. Tourism boards, and travel companies are only going to show the positive points of a destination. The news, like I mentioned in the first point, will really only focus on the negative points.

      3. Try to talk to someone who’s lived or spent a lot of time in the destination you’ll be visiting.
      Locals will be able to provide inside tips or highlights of the destination that some people may not know. And while everyone’s opinion will differ, a local will have insight on the good, the bad and the ugly of a destination. Check a variety of sources to get the best picture you possibly can.

      4. Take personal opinions and recommendations with a grain of salt.
      Everyone loves to give advice. But no one’s experience with a destination will be the same. I love New York City. If someone said, “here’s a free plane ticket to New York. The flight leaves in an hour” I’d pack a bag, grab my passport and be out the door within 2 minutes. But I know not everyone will love New York. So if someone says “it was the best” or “it was the worst” about a place, know your experience won’t be the same.

      5. Only boring people get bored.
      There’s always something to do, no matter where you are. Yes, not every place is going to have 24/7 nightlife and parties. Not every place will have thrill seeking adventures at every turn. But there will be something to do. One of the benefits of doing a little pre-trip research is that you’ll probably get an idea of what types of things a destination will have to offer before you go there. If you don’t know what to do ask around. Ask the locals and other travelers you see what they like to do. Send out a message on Twitter or Facebook, etc and ask for recommendations on what to see and do. You should be able to find something to do (if you want) at any destination.

      I grew up in the Prairies. If I can find something to do here, I can find something to do anywhere.

      6. Improve your attitude.
      There’s something in psychology called the self-fulfilling prophecy. Essentially it works like this: John Doe is going to destination X, and he thinks his trip there will be horrible, and everyone from destination X will be awful. When John gets to destination X he reacts in a negative way because of the preconceptions that he has. Since John is behaving in a negative way, the people there react to John in a negative way, and this causes John to be more negative as well. John doesn’t realize that it’s his own behaviour that’s caused the people to react negatively.

      I see examples of self-fulfilling prophecies in travel a lot. My father had a negative reaction about Mexico, before he even set foot in the country. No place will be perfect, but you shouldn’t expect the worst, especially before you go somewhere. This will only cloud your experience and you might not be able to see the good points that a place has.

      7. Life isn’t perfect, and neither is travel.
      Just because something has gone wrong, it doesn’t mean an entire place, or an entire group of people are bad. I had really bad service from a rude waiter in the US once. It would be unfair and inaccurate for me to say all Americans are rude because of this one bad encounter I experienced. Sometimes shit just happens. Deal with it. Drop the negative attitude, and move on.

      8. Be honest.
      No place or experience will be perfect, but if something is bothering you let someone know (preferably someone who can help you out). If you’re lost, and you don’t ask anyone for directions then you can’t be upset that no one is helping you find your way. If the television your hotel room isn’t working don’t sit and sulk all night, and then bitch to the front desk the next morning that they didn’t fix your TV (I used to work at a hotel and I’ve seen that happen). No one can read your mind. If you’re having issues or problems tell someone about it. Be calm, but be firm with your request. Chances are you’ll be able to get the problem fixed, or find an alternative solution that can help you out.

      9. Get out and do something.
      I know there’s no right way to travel, but you can’t really learn or experience a place if the only thing you see is the inside of your hotel lobby. So go explore. Take a walk down the street. Catch a cab and go to another area of town, or maybe take a train or bus to another town. You could come across a great restaurant, or a local event, or a cool attraction. If going off on your own seems intimidating then take a tour. Lots of cities offer free walking tours. You could even take a bus tour or a boat tour, and see the highlights of a place. You won’t know what great things are out there until you get out and find them.

      10. Know your limits.
      If you don’t like being on a boat then don’t agree to go on a boat tour. If you’ve tried staying in a hostel dorm room before and hated it, then don’t book a stay at a hostel dorm room. You might not be able to get everything that you want on your trip, but if you’re going somewhere you don’t want to go to, then you should at least try to make things easier for yourself.

      11. Do something you want to do.
      Sure if you’re traveling with others you might have to compromise, but it’s okay to be selfish once in awhile as well. My father had no interest in going to Mexico, until my mom mentioned to him that he could go deep sea fishing. My father loves fishing, and after my mom’s suggestion he started to get excited to go to Mexico, if only to fish. It doesn’t matter if that activity is some adrenaline pumping thing, like bungee jumping, or something simple, like going to the movies. Doing something that you love to do, or have always wanted to do, will help give a rewarding travel experience.

      12. Don’t use fiction to measure reality.
      It’s easy to get image of what a place is like in your head after watching TV, movies or reading books about it. I loved the movie Amelie. As soon as I saw it I wanted to hop a flight to Paris because of how the city was portrayed in the movie. My experience in Paris was completely different from the idea that I got of Paris from Amelie. Not that my experience was bad (too short, that’s for sure) but it wasn’t the same. Don’t set an unrealistic expectation by thinking a movie, television show or book can give you an accurate view of a place, because it can’t.

      13. Every experience and every place is unique.
      When we went to Chichen Itza my parents said it wasn’t the same as the Great Pyramids in Egypt. I understand sometimes there are places that standout in our minds, especially if it was a first or unique experience. You don’t have to like everything the same, but understand each place is unique and it’s not fair to compare it to other places you’ve been to in the past.

      Chichen Itza, Mexico
      The Great Pyramid at Chichen Itza.

      So there you have it, my suggestions on how to have a positive travel experience when you don’t want to travel. As for my father he grew to enjoy his time in Mexico. I think if my father can come around and like Mexico, then just about anyone can have a good experience when they travel.

    Thursday, July 26, 2012

    How to Act Indifferent Around Your Ex? Learn How to Be Completely Unaffected by Almost Anything

    After the breakup you find it difficult to face your ex as feelings of guilt, shame, and anger cloud your mind. In this confusion you end up acting in such a way that it gives them the pleasure of knowing that they are affecting you. Here is how you can effectively deal with your ex and not look pathetic.

    Stay away for a while
    If you can't handle the breakup and feel that you have still come to terms with the past events then the best thing for you to do is get away for a while till such time that you have a firm handle on your emotions. This break from your surroundings will refresh your mind and put things in the right perspective.

    Don't try to hide your feelings
    Get back to your surroundings and boldly move around your ex. If you come face to face with your ex don't try to hide your feelings. Keeping it bottled will worsen the situation and it is not such a bad idea to let out steam and vent your feelings. However, make sure you don't create a big scene. Releasing pressure will ensure you get back to your normal self soon.

    Focus on something else
    Another way you can try forgetting about the breakup is by focusing on something else so that your mind is distracted. Take up something interesting that you wanted to do but delayed all this time. It could be anything from a sporting activity to singing or dancing or learning a new musical instrument. Do what your heart desires.

    Increase your friend circle
    Consciously increase your friend circle so that you don't have to bank on common friends that will remind you of your past relationship and your ex. Meet new guys and girls that are dashing and know how to have fun.

    Look within for happiness
    Happiness is a state of mind and if you want to be happy you have to look and find it within yourself. External factors cannot afford you permanent happiness and peace of mind. Things that make you look good and feel confident will make you happy and therefore focus on your health, academics or your profession.

    Forgive and forget
    The best strategy is to forgive and forget your ex. This way you can put the past firmly behind you so that it does not affect your present. Once you show a big heart and forgive your ex he/she will no longer affect you and you will be comfortable around him/her.

    Move on
    Start taking baby steps to move on in life. Start by mixing with members of the opposite sex and begin to have fun once again. You will soon forget about your past and start looking at the future.


    Sunday, July 1, 2012

    The Power of Indifference

    Have you noticed how when you have a girlfriend, suddenly other girls seem to find you that much more attractive? Watch your friends and see how girls’ perspectives of them change when your friends get a girlfriend. Irrespective of a girlfriend or not, you are still the same person with the same interests and characteristics. What is it that changes about you with a girlfriend?

    The answer is indifference.
    Indifference to whether the girl likes you or not.
    In order to really be successful with women, you have to be indifferent. You have to give up your attachment to women. This doesn’t mean that you have to stop liking women or pursuing them. You shouldn’t give up your goals, and you definitely shouldn’t give up your desires. What you should do is remove your attachment to the outcome.

    This is a really influential thing to do. When you remove your attachment to the outcome, joining your true desire with indifference at the same time, you will be able to be successful with any girl that you wish.
    Concern with the outcome is based on your ego – it is fear and insecurity, and the need for security and control. The ideal outcome of the girl liking you, or of you getting action, might provide your ego with a sense of worth for a short time, but it is only passing ... it will come and go. This can create anxiety, as your ego needs further reestablishment and proof that it is triumphant, producing a down-ward spiral.

    Attachment is based on fear and insecurity because the attachment is always to results. Indifference, however, is superior because with indifference you have the freedom to create new and better opportunities. Your interactions with women are more spontaneous and fun.

    Without indifference, we become prisoners of our current situation. We are more worried about messing up where we are with the girl, or worried that the girl will think less of us, than looking forward to the positive side of what might happen.

    Most guys look for the security of a girl who likes them. They say "When I have a hot girlfriend, then I’ll be alright. I’ll know that I can get hot women and not have to worry about women in the future." But it never works out like that ... ever!

    You can spend a lifetime looking for that security and never find it. Attachment to getting women to like you will always create more insecurity. Sometimes, the people who look like they have the most girlfriends are the most insecure, and they have to work the hardest to ensure that they don’t lose any of them, and don’t enjoy the benefits.

    You don’t want to end up becoming a victim of your past memories, with the highlight in your life being going over the way that you used to be, of how you used to be able to get any girl, of how all the women used to love you. If you can be truly indifferent to the outcome, you can step into the present moment and enjoy life the way it is. You can take pleasure from all the beautiful women around you. It means that in every moment when you are with a woman, you will experience excitement, adventure and mystery.

    Being indifferent doesn’t mean that you shouldn’t pursue women. You should still go for girls that you think are beautiful and fun. You should still look to try to get their number, or take them out for a drink, or have a good time with them. However, between now and you getting the girl’s number, there are still multiple possibilities. At any moment, a more beautiful girl could come along, you could find that you don’t actually like the girl, or you could be introduced to another girl who would be ideal for you. With indifference, you can change direction at any moment if you find someone more exciting. Being indifferent also means that you are less likely to force solutions and are more likely to see opportunities.

    If someone isn’t interested in you, and you try to force them to be interested, you’ll only push them further away. However, if you are indifferent to the girl’s interest, but would still like to go for a drink with her, you’ll wait until the timing is right for her and the opportunity is available.

    There are loads of reasons why indifference works. When indifferent to a girl, you are more confident and funny. You give off a positive vibe. You provide the girl with a challenge. All of these traits are magic by themselves. But rather than trying to work on each aspect individually, if you can become indifferent, you create a synergy of all the positive traits of a Don Juan working together.

    With a mind-set of indifference, you can be successful with any girl. Work on being indifferent and a new world will open its doors to you!


    Saturday, June 16, 2012

    Being indifferent means being dispassionate about the things that happen around you. Learn to be indifferent about what people say and do, but instead enjoy the show which is put on by other people without being so involved in their show. It's mind over matter, if it doesn't matter so much anymore.


    1. Repeat the following steps to yourself. Ponder each and understand them in a peaceful atmosphere:
    2. Develop your strength. Silently laugh (smile), sigh with contentment for the show around you.
    3. Try most importantly to think: "It's okay to have different opinions: it's just what they think."
      • If they are wise or confused: it's like mind over matter.
      • If you want to be indifferent try meditating to be serene and strong.
    4. Thank God, if you pray:
      • Give thanks for everything that you have however temporary it may be.
      • Give thanks for everything that you don't have however permanent that may be. This way you're accepting your life and yourself.
    5. Dismiss your ego so that people CAN disregard you.
      • Ego hurts inside you, like pus in an abscessed infection.
      • Now let people disregard you. Tell yourself it's fine.
      • Remember you could have unwittingly done the same thing to many people.
    6. Demand more, and then less feels like a loss; so stop asking so much from life.
      • Stop demanding joy, because pain will come along.
      • Stop demanding attention, loneliness will come at times.
      • Stop demanding friends, separations come along.
    7. Remember your life is what you deserve from what you do.
      • Every pain you get is caused by one of your needs. It is fair.
      • Everybody is just a frail human. Everybody must go through this show.
      • Forgive everybody because they do what seems most correct at that moment.
    8. Let life be your entertainment like a show or a game.
      • Allow it to develop, and just enjoy whatever happens -- relax!
      • Enjoy more than the actors: be a spectator for yourself not for others.
    9. Repudiate your rude passions, befriend compassion and empathy.
    10. Think you're good, and you'll find ten who are better. Do your best, and accept the rest!
    11. Do good to the ones who harm you or intend to harm you. Anger can only trouble your life.
    12. Allow anger to arise only at the weak or the supposedly weak, and so consider none inferior.
    13. Remember life is meant to be enjoyed, in the right way.
    14. Stop valuing your effort let hard work come for free.
    15. Let good works seem in vain, let sacrifices be alright.
    16. Love yourself, and love others. Don't compare your self with them, because every single one is special in this earth.


    • For being strong meditate everyday for at least 15 minutes and increase this time. You will notice the difference within 2-3 days as you start meditating earnestly.
    • When one reaches the root of desire and understands completely the root of it, it becomes easier to remove that root.
    • Removing whims and desires, one becomes peaceful.
    • Becoming peaceful and accepting your life, one becomes indifferent.
    • Accept everything that comes your way, everything, everything, everything.
    • That which allures has infinite strings attached. Maybe even more!
    • The past is gone, the future unknown; remembering is a shame, worry is just pain; to live well in the instant is sane.
    • It doesn't matter what others think. Some have no other work but their thoughts. Stop caring about their thoughts.
    • W.H.F - What is, However it is, is Fine accept it all and work with it.
    • Peace exists only in the mind! For complete peace, just peace: nothing is needed!


    • These thoughts only work if you truly believe in them.
    • In any case, the introspection is the key to accepting things.